Why do I do this to myself?

I really don’t want to waste any time writing a coherent review of New Moon. So, here are my thoughts, in no particular order. There might be some spoilers below, but I think most of us know all the sordid details by now anyway.

  • I don’t like obsessive love. People too often use it as an excuse to be immature, selfish, and cruel. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Bella and Edward.
  • For someone who is supposed to be markedly smarter and more mature than your average teen, Bella has to be one of the most juvenile, dim-witted characters I’ve ever encountered.
  • Bella seems so determined to be a member of the Cullen family that she completely disregards and disrespects her real family. Remember when she claimed waaay back in Twilight that Renee was her best friend? Doesn’t really act like it, does she?
  • Note to authors: Suicide is not romantic. Please stop trying to make it so.
  • The story of Romeo and Juliet is also not romantic. It’s morose and disastrous and depressing. That’s why the correct title is The TRAGEDY of Romeo and Juliet. Plus, Juliet is THIRTEEN. And the entire life span of R&J’s love is FOUR days. That’s right, met on Sunday, died on Wednesday. And this is your model for everlasting love?
  • As far as epiphanies go, Bella’s was laaame. “I hear Edward’s voice in my head. That means he really loves me!” Okaaay.
  • After 400 pages of SLOW buildup (Bella’s in pain, terrible, terrible pain, therefore she must cradle herself strangely and rebel in cliched ways and string along a friend in an attempt to soothe her hurt soul, because she’s in Pain), the final 150 pages or so seemed weirdly slap-dash and tacked on. A crazy race against the clock in sunny Italy featuring Certain Death and an eeeeevil vampire cabal? Where the hell did that come from?
  • I tried to find something positive to say about New Moon, I honestly did, but I just came away from it thinking Bella’s not a particularly nice person. And I have yet to see anything in this series that looks like true, enduring love.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit that I have put my name on the waiting list for Eclipse. I just have to see where this goes. I mean, how much more ridiculous can it get?

P.S. If you must use references to R&J ad nauseum, how about throwing out this bit of wisdom:

These violent delights have violent ends,
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in its own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.


One Response

  1. Not only but also,
    and I want to run around screaming this
    (or at least have it as item four on my headstone),

    WHICH ALTERS WHEN IT ALTERATION FINDS.But aside from that, Taylor Lautner’s a fox.

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